So Turkish men are also known as Turkish Delight which is also the name of a desert mostly served to tourists. They are a fun topic though. On the whole, there are a lot of beautiful men here (see picture of my coaches). Sometimes their jeans are too tight yes, but sometimes you don’t even notice the jeans because you are too busy staring at their eyes. They aren’t all beautiful of course, some are hairy and greasy others are short and slender. But on the whole, two thumbs up in the looks department.
But it isn’t all good. Turkish men like to stare. Between me with my blonde hair, my teammate from America who is black, and my Australian teammate who is 6’5”, we definitely get all eyes on us where ever we go. The usually scream out something original like “basketball” or they just stare like we all have three heads.
When I am out by myself, there is less yelling but more talking. I can easily meet three of four men when I am out exploring. At that’s when I am not even trying to meet anyone. I meet men on the metro, vendors selling food downtown, carpet dealers (big surprise) but mostly I just meet men on the street. I am not so naïve to think that all of them have the best of intentions but I do appreciate boldness and while sometimes it can be annoying, a lot of the time it is annoying, but other times it is amusing to be hit on when I am in sweats, walking down the street after practice with wet unbrushed hair. If I go out at night, sometimes I am one of the few women walking down the street to the metro. I swear women don’t leave the house here. So it can be really weird to be stared at so intensely. And inevitably some brave fellow or two will approach me and start talking. Its not at all uncommon for them to ask me to drink tea with them or try to get my number after a thirty second conversation. But the flip side of that aggressiveness is an excess of jealously.
Meek, Marita and I have gone out a few times since we have been in Istanbul and its always the same story. We get in the cab at the end of the night laughing about the stupid shit that some Turkish man did or said. Basically they think they own us if they start talking to us, dancing with us, or buying us a drink. Meek literally had a guy say to her after 10 minutes of broken conversation that he didn’t want her to talk to any other men at the club and wanted her to be his girlfriend. I also have had a Turkish man call thirteen times in a row. I alternately pressed reject on my phone or let it ring but nothing deterred him. I sat there talking to my mom and wondering how much embarrassment can one person take? Marriage proposals are not at all uncommon.
I swear sometimes I feel like I have a huge sign on my forehead that says ‘please yell at me on the street.’ Men here just don’t have the fear of rejection so inherent in so many Western men. I can’t say I particularly like it, but I can say that I would like a happy medium; something half way between cat calling and men that act like it is a secret if they like you.
A few weeks ago I was leaving the club at about 3 in the morning. I stepped out on the busy street and started walking. Immediately two guys started talking to me in Turkish and asking if they could give me a ride home. I started laughing and kept walking. After two minutes of them following me and begging me to come with them, they finally gave up. But low and behold, three steps later another Turkish man fell into step beside me. Once again, he spoke no English but kept insisting that he drive me home. I kept telling him he was crazy in Turkish and that I wasn’t going to get in his f-ing car. He followed me onto the shared taxi van and sat down with me until he realized that I was really not going to go home with him.
I know it sounds scary maybe and just a little stalkerish, but none of these guys feel dangerous. Its not that there aren’t a lot of weirdos in this city to avoid, but most of these guys are just throwing out the lines, hoping to get a bite and think nothing of embarrassing themselves in the process. Also Turkish men are very protective as well so I do know at any point if a man was inappropriate, I could say something to some strange men and they would take care of it for me. It would most likely make their night to kick some guys ass on my behalf.
I am pretty bold these days though. I will be very nice to most people but if I get the weirdo feel from men, I am the biggest bitch ever. I have no problem making a scene if the situation makes me uncomfortable… hence the screaming at the police officer a few weeks ago. For instance, I was walking in downtown Istanbul one day when I noticed a Turkish man staring at me. I kept walking, down through the underpass where merchants had created a small shopping center. I looked back and the man was following me, his dark eyes unwavering even when I looked directly at him. So I stopped and looked at socks, he stopped and looked at lighters. I continued walking and he followed. I stopped again and he kept on past me but then stopped a bit ahead and stared back, waiting for me to keep going. Finally I looked at him from 15 feet away and said, ‘WHAT?’ as loud as I could. I scared the shit out of him and I never saw him again that day.
A few weeks later I was on the tram. It was crowded but I made my space, grabbed a hand rail, and covered my purse. The tram kept lurching back and forth, probably braking for a crazy driver on the tram line. I felt someone touching my leg every time the crowd of people moved but I didn’t really notice at first. When I did start paying attention, it was hard to decipher if it was accidental. It was some Turkish guy about my age who acted like he was minding his own business. Then the tram almost slowed down and then sped up and his hand brushed my leg opposite the momentum of everyone else. To that I looked at him and said. “don’t don’t don’t’. he shook his head yes and pleaded with his eyes that I not make a scene.
I have definitely had a number of cars stop on the street as well. Sometimes they ask me if I want a ride, sometimes they circle back and drive by slowly, sometimes they pull off on the side of the road and wait for me to walk past so they can ask me to get in. Last weekend we were in traffic as we headed to the clubs and the car next to us kept trying to get me and Marita to ditch our taxi and hop in with them. If they are blunt about things I will generally just laugh or say ‘no’ but if they are lurking, and creepy I might get a little lippy.
But it isn’t just men, safe in their moving cars, that say things. Turkish men on every corner say random things like ‘you are an angel. Are you from heaven?’ Yesterday I was walking to the gym, dressed in sweats and a huge down jacket, when two older men said ‘hello’ and then ‘ahhhh smiling, always smile.’ To which I laughed. Its always funny when people directly speak to you in English when you haven’t said a word, even funnier when their English makes no sense. Then the one man said ‘I love you’ and the other ‘I love you too,’ as I walked around the corner shaking my head.
Never a dull moment…..
But it isn’t all good. Turkish men like to stare. Between me with my blonde hair, my teammate from America who is black, and my Australian teammate who is 6’5”, we definitely get all eyes on us where ever we go. The usually scream out something original like “basketball” or they just stare like we all have three heads.
When I am out by myself, there is less yelling but more talking. I can easily meet three of four men when I am out exploring. At that’s when I am not even trying to meet anyone. I meet men on the metro, vendors selling food downtown, carpet dealers (big surprise) but mostly I just meet men on the street. I am not so naïve to think that all of them have the best of intentions but I do appreciate boldness and while sometimes it can be annoying, a lot of the time it is annoying, but other times it is amusing to be hit on when I am in sweats, walking down the street after practice with wet unbrushed hair. If I go out at night, sometimes I am one of the few women walking down the street to the metro. I swear women don’t leave the house here. So it can be really weird to be stared at so intensely. And inevitably some brave fellow or two will approach me and start talking. Its not at all uncommon for them to ask me to drink tea with them or try to get my number after a thirty second conversation. But the flip side of that aggressiveness is an excess of jealously.
Meek, Marita and I have gone out a few times since we have been in Istanbul and its always the same story. We get in the cab at the end of the night laughing about the stupid shit that some Turkish man did or said. Basically they think they own us if they start talking to us, dancing with us, or buying us a drink. Meek literally had a guy say to her after 10 minutes of broken conversation that he didn’t want her to talk to any other men at the club and wanted her to be his girlfriend. I also have had a Turkish man call thirteen times in a row. I alternately pressed reject on my phone or let it ring but nothing deterred him. I sat there talking to my mom and wondering how much embarrassment can one person take? Marriage proposals are not at all uncommon.
I swear sometimes I feel like I have a huge sign on my forehead that says ‘please yell at me on the street.’ Men here just don’t have the fear of rejection so inherent in so many Western men. I can’t say I particularly like it, but I can say that I would like a happy medium; something half way between cat calling and men that act like it is a secret if they like you.
A few weeks ago I was leaving the club at about 3 in the morning. I stepped out on the busy street and started walking. Immediately two guys started talking to me in Turkish and asking if they could give me a ride home. I started laughing and kept walking. After two minutes of them following me and begging me to come with them, they finally gave up. But low and behold, three steps later another Turkish man fell into step beside me. Once again, he spoke no English but kept insisting that he drive me home. I kept telling him he was crazy in Turkish and that I wasn’t going to get in his f-ing car. He followed me onto the shared taxi van and sat down with me until he realized that I was really not going to go home with him.
I know it sounds scary maybe and just a little stalkerish, but none of these guys feel dangerous. Its not that there aren’t a lot of weirdos in this city to avoid, but most of these guys are just throwing out the lines, hoping to get a bite and think nothing of embarrassing themselves in the process. Also Turkish men are very protective as well so I do know at any point if a man was inappropriate, I could say something to some strange men and they would take care of it for me. It would most likely make their night to kick some guys ass on my behalf.
I am pretty bold these days though. I will be very nice to most people but if I get the weirdo feel from men, I am the biggest bitch ever. I have no problem making a scene if the situation makes me uncomfortable… hence the screaming at the police officer a few weeks ago. For instance, I was walking in downtown Istanbul one day when I noticed a Turkish man staring at me. I kept walking, down through the underpass where merchants had created a small shopping center. I looked back and the man was following me, his dark eyes unwavering even when I looked directly at him. So I stopped and looked at socks, he stopped and looked at lighters. I continued walking and he followed. I stopped again and he kept on past me but then stopped a bit ahead and stared back, waiting for me to keep going. Finally I looked at him from 15 feet away and said, ‘WHAT?’ as loud as I could. I scared the shit out of him and I never saw him again that day.
A few weeks later I was on the tram. It was crowded but I made my space, grabbed a hand rail, and covered my purse. The tram kept lurching back and forth, probably braking for a crazy driver on the tram line. I felt someone touching my leg every time the crowd of people moved but I didn’t really notice at first. When I did start paying attention, it was hard to decipher if it was accidental. It was some Turkish guy about my age who acted like he was minding his own business. Then the tram almost slowed down and then sped up and his hand brushed my leg opposite the momentum of everyone else. To that I looked at him and said. “don’t don’t don’t’. he shook his head yes and pleaded with his eyes that I not make a scene.
I have definitely had a number of cars stop on the street as well. Sometimes they ask me if I want a ride, sometimes they circle back and drive by slowly, sometimes they pull off on the side of the road and wait for me to walk past so they can ask me to get in. Last weekend we were in traffic as we headed to the clubs and the car next to us kept trying to get me and Marita to ditch our taxi and hop in with them. If they are blunt about things I will generally just laugh or say ‘no’ but if they are lurking, and creepy I might get a little lippy.
But it isn’t just men, safe in their moving cars, that say things. Turkish men on every corner say random things like ‘you are an angel. Are you from heaven?’ Yesterday I was walking to the gym, dressed in sweats and a huge down jacket, when two older men said ‘hello’ and then ‘ahhhh smiling, always smile.’ To which I laughed. Its always funny when people directly speak to you in English when you haven’t said a word, even funnier when their English makes no sense. Then the one man said ‘I love you’ and the other ‘I love you too,’ as I walked around the corner shaking my head.
Never a dull moment…..
2 comments:
haha every word is so true!!!!!
hahahahha, this is so crazy, I wouldn't bear all that crap!!! woow, I'm impressed!
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