That’s right they get a whole blog entry to themselves. Sorry for the two disgusting entries in a row but hey, I have to cope somehow.
I remember the first time I saw a Turkish toilet. We were at a rest stop in Greece, traveling the ten hours back to Athens from a road game. It was during the hourly smoke/coffee break when me and my American teammate went to the bathroom and found a little surprise. We looked down at the hole in the ground in horror. Naturally, we went and got our cameras to capture the event. In the two years I played in Greece we saw them occasionally and they were disgusting every time. Not that the normal toilets were much better but they did make me realize I was lucky to have water under me.
I should have known what I was getting into, the ubiquity of Turkish toilets in Turkey. But you would think in a modern city like Istanbul that most places would be a little more, well modern. Not so much. So for anyone that is eating or thinking about eating, might not want to read along….
All of our gyms have Turkish toilets and I use them because I have to. You do get used to things and when you got to go you got to go, especially before a game. I’m not a princess, I use the porta pottie at the outdoor court in Seattle, while camping or in emergencies I’ve been known to go in the bushes. But on the whole I prefer a clean normal toilet with all flushing capabilities and toilet paper. I don’t think that is too much to ask. I’ll even do without the toilet paper since I’ve learned to carry tissue since living abroad. Just a clean, normal toilet please.
So for those of you that don’t know or haven’t guessed, Turkish toilets are the porcelain holes in the ground with the convenient foot grating on the side so you don’t lose your balance and fall in a bunch of shit. They were no doubt about it, invented by a man. They do flush, some of them, but many only have a hose on the side or a faucet with a pitcher of water beneath so you can wash everything down by hand. Its exhilarating to feel so in control! What’s even more disgusting is I think the water hose is there for cleaning other unmentionable areas as well. Moving along….The problem I have is not so much the squatting. Its not fun but you know a little leg workout never hurt anyone and I am pretty used to it after never wanting to put my tush anywhere near the toilet seats in Greece. My problem is two fold; The distance to the drainage point from your body is too far and the porcelain is way to shallow. There just isn’t a landing point for all the matter that falls. Basically pee splatters and therefore every bathroom smells like piss. And I do mean piss, that distinct smell that isn’t pee, isn’t urine, it can only be sufficiently described as piss. I swear the bathroom at my gym hasn’t been cleaned since I got here. It just stinks more and more and you can see the sticky pee stains everywhere, on the ground, on the door, on the porcelain. I walk out of there close to vomiting every time. They do clean here in some places, they basically seem to flood the bathroom with soapy water to disinfect the whole piss splattered place. Maybe its on a timer and comes through the fire sprinklers. Either way it helps the smell but doesn’t help the safety. Slippery surfaces is just what I want when trying to keep my balance perched above a sea of urine and other things.
Like I said, I am getting used to them. One can get used to almost anything. But I do find myself, a bit like George in Seinfeld, making a mental note of bathroom facilities. Before I know it I will be able to identify a modern toilet in every part of the city. Making the most of my free time….
I remember the first time I saw a Turkish toilet. We were at a rest stop in Greece, traveling the ten hours back to Athens from a road game. It was during the hourly smoke/coffee break when me and my American teammate went to the bathroom and found a little surprise. We looked down at the hole in the ground in horror. Naturally, we went and got our cameras to capture the event. In the two years I played in Greece we saw them occasionally and they were disgusting every time. Not that the normal toilets were much better but they did make me realize I was lucky to have water under me.
I should have known what I was getting into, the ubiquity of Turkish toilets in Turkey. But you would think in a modern city like Istanbul that most places would be a little more, well modern. Not so much. So for anyone that is eating or thinking about eating, might not want to read along….
All of our gyms have Turkish toilets and I use them because I have to. You do get used to things and when you got to go you got to go, especially before a game. I’m not a princess, I use the porta pottie at the outdoor court in Seattle, while camping or in emergencies I’ve been known to go in the bushes. But on the whole I prefer a clean normal toilet with all flushing capabilities and toilet paper. I don’t think that is too much to ask. I’ll even do without the toilet paper since I’ve learned to carry tissue since living abroad. Just a clean, normal toilet please.
So for those of you that don’t know or haven’t guessed, Turkish toilets are the porcelain holes in the ground with the convenient foot grating on the side so you don’t lose your balance and fall in a bunch of shit. They were no doubt about it, invented by a man. They do flush, some of them, but many only have a hose on the side or a faucet with a pitcher of water beneath so you can wash everything down by hand. Its exhilarating to feel so in control! What’s even more disgusting is I think the water hose is there for cleaning other unmentionable areas as well. Moving along….The problem I have is not so much the squatting. Its not fun but you know a little leg workout never hurt anyone and I am pretty used to it after never wanting to put my tush anywhere near the toilet seats in Greece. My problem is two fold; The distance to the drainage point from your body is too far and the porcelain is way to shallow. There just isn’t a landing point for all the matter that falls. Basically pee splatters and therefore every bathroom smells like piss. And I do mean piss, that distinct smell that isn’t pee, isn’t urine, it can only be sufficiently described as piss. I swear the bathroom at my gym hasn’t been cleaned since I got here. It just stinks more and more and you can see the sticky pee stains everywhere, on the ground, on the door, on the porcelain. I walk out of there close to vomiting every time. They do clean here in some places, they basically seem to flood the bathroom with soapy water to disinfect the whole piss splattered place. Maybe its on a timer and comes through the fire sprinklers. Either way it helps the smell but doesn’t help the safety. Slippery surfaces is just what I want when trying to keep my balance perched above a sea of urine and other things.
Like I said, I am getting used to them. One can get used to almost anything. But I do find myself, a bit like George in Seinfeld, making a mental note of bathroom facilities. Before I know it I will be able to identify a modern toilet in every part of the city. Making the most of my free time….
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