The way in which I was shaped by my culture is obvious to me every day. So many of the things we think or do, we assume to be in our nature when in fact they are a direct reflection of the society that socialized us. I am reminded constantly that I am a product of my culture in good ways like our value on hygiene and cleanliness and in bad ways like in our fascination and addiction to money and stress. Its becoming painfully obvious to me how much this particular aspect of American culture is in so many ways warped.
I was raised a capitalist. I was taught that working hard is honorable and that one should get just rewards for their efforts. I was taught that making money is important, that success is often times measured by how much stuff you have in relation to those around you. I was taught that when you reach a certain age you are on your own financially and that you then get a job, a car, a house and every month you make money in the first to pay off the second and third. And the bigger the checks of all three the more successful you are. The better your life is. The more others envy you.
I’m glad I learned these lessons despite my obvious criticism. I’m glad I was raised in a capitalist society where I was taught the value of hard work and the importance of money. Without these ideologies we probably wouldn’t be the most powerful country in the world, at the forefront of technology with people in all fields leading the way in the world. But there is a breaking point. Where money and things are put ahead of happiness and experiences. There’s a point where the capitalist mentality takes over. Where material items attempt to mask the absence of truly important things in life. Where people work long hours at a job they hate so they can buy a really nice house that they never get to spend any time in. Where driving a nice car and going into debt is just a way of life. Where we like the fact that we are the most powerful country but don’t wonder why we don’t strive to be the happiest country.
I’m not above being materialistic. This is the girl that spent $120 on a pair of jeans and swears to this day that they are worth every penny. But I am seeing a different way and while I can’t ever completely let go of the ideologies of the cultures I was born into, I can learn to embrace a different way of thinking as well. Because the fact is, I like nice things, I like money, I like hard work, but at the end of the day I know that none of those things can replace having the time to go out to coffee with an old friend, grilling out in the summer time with my family and then taking a walk in the neighborhood I grew up in, or simply sitting by myself and reading a good book. No material items can ever be compared to experiences, memories, and the sense of serenity that comes from truly knowing what is important to you in your life.
In Greece people don’t have a lot of money. Well, some people do but on average people make about 12,000 euros a year. Minimum wage is 550 euros a month I am told. My one bedroom apartment coast 500 euros a month. So they have learned to live with less. They live in small apartments usually living at home well into their 20s. They drive little piece of shit cars or scooters and judging from the looks of them they don’t spend a lot on clothes. Its not that they aren’t materialistic or capitalist, its just living in a shabby apartment your whole life and driving a beat up car (or none at all) is expected. They don’t have to keep up with the Jones’ here (or the Paniotopolous for that matter). So, people don’t work so hard. They might not live in a really nice house but they actually spend time in it. They don’t work so hard to pay off a mortgage that they don’t even have time to enjoy it and they don’t stress about every little thing. They don’t seem to worry about retirement as much or making rent. Money here isn’t exchanged on strict time schedules or with harsh repercussions for tardiness. Its seems everyone at any given time is owed money and owes money.
I swear the lack of stress here is the reason people live so long. It has to be. I mean they smoke like chimneys and their medical care doesn’t look like its leading the world. But they don’t worry about things. Its super annoying at first because they don’t stress about anything, even when its your money, or your plane ticket home for Christmas, or your work visa but at the same time its nice to be around people who aren’t on edge all day long. Time to them isn’t measured in dollars and cents, its measured in enjoyment. And it’s a good way of looking at things. I look back on my memories from last year in Greece of from my memories in general. I don’t reminisce about great shopping trips or assign value to my experiences based on how many things I owned at the time. My time turned into my memories, none of which I could ever put a price tag on.
So instead of working really hard for more money to buy more things, Greeks use the money and time they have for great experiences. They may leave their little apartment at 10 o’clock on a week night and meet friends or family at a taverna. They’ll drink wine, laugh, share stories, sing, dance, yell at each other without reserve and eat wonderful food for hours. They may stop work in the afternoon and meet a friend for coffee on a sunny day. They may be wearing an ugly outfit and returning to a simple home but they are sitting there surrounded by people they love, happy. Extremely happy. They aren’t stressed about a car payment or how they are going to pay for the brand new flat screen they just bought. Their only concern is being in the moment, living life to the fullest every second and having as much fun as possible.
And what a nice way of looking at things. Its more an eastern way of thinking. Where being in the moment, not letting life pass you by is critical. The Buddhist mentality. And I really believe in that. Its important to plan for the future, its important to think ahead but so many of us seem to be waiting for life to begin. We are living right now, this moment is our life! We don’t have to wait for “success” to be happy. Being happy is success. But us and our western way of thinking believe that “oh I’ll be happy when I get that new car, when I own a house, when I get a new job, when I have money.” Sure its good to have goals, aspirations, but the journey is important too and no one said you can’t enjoy life while you are working to move forward.
Of course as in all things there is a balance. Being productive and working hard is important. And don’t get me wrong, money is important. Being poor and living in a little apartment my whole life doesn’t appeal to me. But working a job I hate so I can accumulate more stuff doesn’t either. I want money but I want time also so that I can really enjoy life with the people and things that are truly important to me. When it is all said and done, its true, our time on earth isn’t measured in dollars and cents or material goods, but in love, laughter, and memories with those dear to us.
As my good friend Mindy says……
Find a moment…
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